I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
