I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
