it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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