Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
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