i already hear my dad disowning me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
