So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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