i will never coherently bang her
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
