someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
