Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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