my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
