Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
