I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize