so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
