She announced her abortion via fbk
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
