Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
