I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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