I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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