So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
