ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
