You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
