if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
