Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
