Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize