I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I understand Curling. That high.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
