Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
