I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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