Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
