I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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