Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
