I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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