Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
