i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
