Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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