Whod you bang
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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