4 words: hood of his car
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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