ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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