big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize