my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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