is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that's an acceptable place to lick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
