remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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