What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
