Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
