I puked a lego.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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