So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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