I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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