I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
