Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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