she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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