I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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