i think my mom watched the whole time
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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