but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
