How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
