called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
