We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize