Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
