you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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