You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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